一定要带奶奶去吃午餐了

其实，心里想带奶奶去吃饭已经蛮久了。

但老是把优先权让给其他的事。

就这样把这件事延迟了两三个星期，也许还不止呢！

终于，我下定决心一定要带奶奶去吃午餐了。

奶奶想吃点心，那就带她去吃点心。

奶奶说了好多话，仿佛心里受了很多委屈。

我唯有耐心的聆听，然后就答：哦，是吗？

过后呢，我就把我所听的和学到的道理啦，故事啦慢慢的讲给她听。

奶奶听了以后，脸也渐渐的露出笑容了。

奶奶问我怎么会知道这么多有趣的故事，因为以前我都不曾讲故事的。

（我也只是向我的奶奶叙述我的工作上的委屈啦，不满啦！）

我告诉奶奶，我有空的话就会去讲座会。也因为这样才学到很多的事啊！

就这样过了三个小时。

奶奶对我说：“今天，我很happy!"

-----------------------

希望我以后也能常常把欢乐带给我身边的人。

而不是老是把优先权让给其他的事了！

Fear of Loss

I would like to share that my students who were in loved likes a saying which sound like this,
"In a relationship, it's not about you have your way and I've mine own way,
it's about TWO BECOME ONE!"
------------------------------------
Seeing a long term relationship might blossom.
However, I didn't want to immediately started it because of past experience.
I decided to apply, "Stop & Stare" for a while.

At the same time, I ask myself these questions:

"What are the purposes of having this relationship?"
"Why do I want it?"
"What are the possible outcomes?"

Thinking these questions, and trying to answering these question:

"The purpose is to have someone to support me,
agree with me,
accompany me,
care for me,
make my life not lonely as seen by others,
it's a way of life chosen by the majority and therefore I should follow it."

"Because I want to feel secure,
I don't want to feel lonely as describe by others if I remain single,
I want to be in the lifestyle as what the majority has acknowledge and agreed to,
I want to have hapiness given and shared together by my partner,
I want to be loved and to love."

"Happily ever after as in the fairy tales (haven't see it with my eyes yet).
Happy in the end although there are some difficulties & obstacles with disappoinment, anger, sadness along the journey.
Be apart from each other because of natural death or accident which brings sadness.
Be apart from each other as opinion and lifestyle are becoming more intolerable which bring disappoinment and anger.
Be apart from each other because extended relationship which violate the agreement and thus bring sadness and anger to both parties.
Living in joy because of support and care from each other.
Living in satisfaction because demands are fulfilled and can have more demands.
Living in worries because afraid of separation.
Living in dissactisfaction because more requirement are not being able to be fulfilled.
Living in doubts because suspecting he/she might cheat on me.
And the list goes on..."

But no matter what are the outcomes, LIFE STILL GOES ON!

Just after week after I answered these questions,
feelings toward him was gone.
And so was his feeling toward me.
Thus, feelings are impermanent.

Anyway, I really felt so relieved when he cancelled the date at that moment!

Grief springs from AFFECTION

"From affection springs grief,

from affection springs fear;

for him who is wholly free from affection there is no grief,

much less fear."

Dhammapada 213

I know why I'm relieved.
And I'm glad I stop and stare for a while.
If not, I would really feel hurt.

I'm not fear of being loved and to love.
I'm fear of LOSS.

HOLD NOTHING DEAR

"Hence hold nothing dear,

for separation from those that are dear is painful;

bonds do not exist for those to whom nothing is dear or not dear."

Dhammapada 211

I couldn't say and couldn't admit that I'm wholly free from affection and attachment.

However, I could understand the sense of being freed from affection in order not to feel let down by someone.

Maybe that someone who is really meant for me has not turn up yet! (from my previous karma, haha!)

Carving on the rock, ground and water

I thought I was carving on the water.
However, when I was angry today, suddenly I realize there were some big rocks behind the person that I was angry at.
I looked at the rock.
And I knew that I'm still carving on a rock......

"Three Types of Anger"
There are three types of people in the world.
What three?

One who is like carving on a rock,
one who is like scratching on the ground and
one who is like writing on the water.

What sort of person is like carving on the rock?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry
and his anger lasts long, just as carving on a rock is
not soon worn off by wind, water or lapse of time.

What sort of person is like scratching on the ground?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry but his anger
does not last long, just as scratching on the ground is
soon worn off by wind, water and lapse of time.

And what sort of person is like writing on the water?
Imagine a certain person who, even though spoken to harshly,
sharply, roughly, is easily reconciled and becomes agreeable
and friendly, just as writing on the water soon disappears.

[from Essentials Teachings of the Buddha]

What type of person are you?

Oh, I never thought I would answer...

Student: Teacher, I'm so worried. I can't concentrate on my studies because there are just too much to revise for the final exam. Will the final exam be easy or difficult?

Teacher: Well, it can be easy. It can be difficult. However, there's only one thing you can do about it.

Student: That is ...?

Teacher: Just answer it! No matter easy or difficult questions, all you can do is just to answer it. So why do you need to worry about the questions?

Student: There's one more. I love my life here. Time pass by so fast. I just couldn't imagine that I'm going to leave my friends so soon! I will miss them so much! How am I going to face it?

Teacher: Will all the relationship remain permanent?

Student: No.

Teacher: Will you get upset over something that is not permanent?

Student: No.

Teacher: So do you still have to worry about your relationship with your friends?

Student: Oh, my! I never thought I would give you that answer! Thank you, teacher!

(Suddenly, I see a sign of relief from the student's expression)